After attending 45 births, there is one thing I know for sure, all different people get pregnant and babies are born. After being born from a young mother who was in no way hoping to conceive at 21 years old, what I didn’t know is just how spontaneous conception really is.
When I meet my clients they are very pregnant, rarely do we spend time going over the time it took to get to 30 weeks pregnant. I’ve never paused to consider the journey was not 30 weeks so far, but maybe 136 weeks. Or longer. Or that maybe this is the second or third time someone was almost 36 weeks pregnant but didn't quite get there.
How often do you check in with people in your life who are trying to conceive? Why aren’t we all sharing the process of creating life in a way that makes it feel like gathering instead of isolating? How is it that trying to bring forth new life has made me feel the loneliest and most disconnected I've ever felt to being human?
We are getting so far in the birth world, holding each other through pregnancy and postpartum. Finding more ways to show up for new parents, for all parents. But how do we show up for people who want to be parents? Who aren't parents yet but yearn to be? How do we hold space for something that isn't yet conceived?
Well I wish I had the answers. I’m still learning how to hold that space for myself. I’m still learning the patience it takes and the hope I know I can possess if I slow down and listen and trust my body. I’m still battling doubt that makes me want to halt the process, and dreams so real I know my body is feeding my soul to keep me pushing forward.
I’m still processing the process.
Words by Shania Lane
Photos by Jennilee Marigomen
A deeper dive with Emma (owner, birth & postpartum Doula) into social media and our posts.